Focus On What You Are Doing Right

I guess the first order of business in finding happiness, is figuring out where to look. I spent most of last night searching “how do I find happiness”? I found plenty of ways to try to snag a husband, lose weight to increase self esteem, and find fulfillment in my new career in selling XYZ in some elaborate pyramid scheme. Nothing of any value. Dadgumit.

So with all 25 years of wisdom I have accrued, I think the best place to start is to focus on things that I am currently doing that are moving me in the right direction. 2016 was an extremely hard year, but I made huge strides towards happiness.

Here’s a quick recap on my 2016….

In March I plucked up the courage to leave a marriage in which I was miserable. I packed up clothes for myself and my two sweet little babies, and moved in with my mom. I found a job in OKC that would pay me a whopping $11 per hour (impressive, I know). I hunkered down, and basically went into auto pilot. I don’t really remember much from those 4 months. In a nutshell I took care of my babies, I worked over 40 hours a week, went to school at night, and spent my weekends with my best friend.

In July my dad moved a little 90’s model single-wide trailer house onto some land he had in El Reno. I cleaned every inch of that house (with the help of my BFF). July in Oklahoma is not a pleasant time to be working outside, digging… but my cheap-skate dad insisted we plumb it ourselves. After a TON of sweat and tears, hours of mowing and cleaning, my babies and I finally moved in.

I know most people would be embarrassed to live in a little 17 year old trailer house, much less brag about it on the internet, but y’all I AM SO DAMN PROUD!! (I also sometimes refer to it as Joe Dirt’s house). I have a little piece of heaven out there in El Reno Oklahoma. Its cool in the summer, warm in the winter, and it is all mine. There is a sense of contentment when you mow 5 acres and then look around at your handy-work.

I was able to come out of the fog of depression and start to realize that I had made it, all by myself. I didn’t think I could support myself and two kids on the money I was bringing in, but I did it. I didn’t think I could heal my heart and move on from the shame and pain of my failed marriage, but i did it. I didn't’ think I could be a content single woman, but I sure as hell am doing it.

So 2017 is starting on a blank slate.

A down home Mama, two little babies, & a tiny trailer house

-BB